Happy President's...Wait, How Old Are You?

Happy President's Weekend

So this is one of those stories that I am not proud of. That I should be super embarrassed about and I was, but now I can laugh! So President's weekend was about a month after my break up. It was one of my good friends birthday's and so we also celebrated my "coming out single" for the first time. By the end of the night, I was pretty intoxicated, I had vomited in someone's house and was pretty much a mess (had I mentioned I drank a lot after my divorce? I did and I am not proud of it). But bad decisions make for good stories, right?

So after all these shenanigans go down, we go to meet back up with some other friends. There is a guy sitting outside the bar, let's call him "Mr. President". Coincidentally, on President's weekend, he had the name of one of one of those lovely gentlemen above and not one of the common ones. He was sitting there talking to his friend saying that he is going to call his ex. I over hear it and butt in and tell him not too. Somewhere in all of this, my memory is a little foggy, I find out he is 26 (I am 28 at the time) and invite him to come with us where we are going. He ditches his friends and comes with us. To make a long story short without embarrassing myself, we made out (a lot and that was ALL) in the back seat of the car while everyone else went into a house. This night ends with with us exchanging phone numbers and us dropping him off on the side of the rode in this college town with his cowboy boots in one hand and his jacket and button down shirt in his other. And that was the last I thought I would see of Mr. President.

Well then a week or so later I get a text from him and he invites me out for a drink. And I think why not? So we meet. He's not much taller than I am and isn't as cute as I remember but still cute. We sit and order a beer. He mentions that he was in law school there at the University. He tells me about his family, his family's money, fancy vacations and was really trying really hard to play himself up and impress me. It was all a little odd, and even more odd when he says his sister is 26. I brushed it off. He asks if I have ever been around the Law Quad and I really hadn't, so he said he would show me around. It's about 9 or 10 at night, snowing, we had had a few beers and so I didn't want to drive right away. So (another idiot move) I say yes and we go for a walk.

Hogwarts 

We are walking around the Law Quad in the snow. It was so beautiful, kind of what I picture what Hogwarts to look like in real life around Christmas time (lame Harry Potter reference). I was kind of in awe. He takes me inside where it is just as beautiful. He was showing me all these different places and things, explaining some of its history annnnnd we end up in a dorm room. Yep, I said DORM ROOM. It even had a lava lamp in it, a twin bed and posters on the wall.


I excuse myself to the bathroom and he hands me a key to the community bathroom. Ew! So I go in there and stand for a minute thinking back to him saying he is 26. 26 year old's do not live in dorms! So I go back and he invites me to sit down. And he makes his move to kiss me, by the romantic glow of the lava lamp...on his twin bed. Against my better judgement, I kiss him back for a minute and then tell him I have to go. He walks me back to my car, kisses me good night and tells me he is going on vacation to some place exotic for a week and he will call me when he gets back. I didn't say it but I had no intention of answering that call! I thank him for the drinks and say good night!

I go home and look him up on Facebook, which I should have done in the first place and learn that he lied (duh!). He had just turned 21...Well played Mr. President, not so honest as they say, huh?

And that my friends is why I always ask for a last name and look them up on the Internet before going out with anyone. Well that and to make sure they are not a serial killer...

XOXO

Dating in the Age of Technology...

So early on I went on a couple of dates with a guy, let's call him "Christian Grey". He was good looking, smart, and successful. He was divorced and had 2 kids, he owned his own business, barely had to work, had a huge house and traveled a lot, you get the point. He was charming and funny. With all that being said his down fall was he knew how much of a catch he was, how good looking he was and used it to his advantage. But it was completely the opposite of what I was used too so why no go out with him...

So we went on 2 dates, both times out to dinner and one of those times I went back to his house for a very PG visit and drink. About a week after our second date, he went out to New York for a golf outing with the guys. He was texting me cute little messages while he was gone. One night at about 2 in the morning, my phone beeped that I had a text message...

***Let's pause for a second for a side story:  So when I get text messages that late at night during the week and they wake me up from a dead sleep I usually think something is wrong, someone is dead or someone needs me for a ride or something. It's just what I do.***

Ok back to the story: So I sit up grab my phone and look, its from "Christian Grey". So I was relieved that everyone was okay and a little annoyed that he was texting me so late. So I open up the text and there it was, standing at full attention, a picture of his penis. I think I literally let out a gasp and in my sleepy state started laughing.

The next morning I text him back and I didn't even acknowledge the picture until he brought it up. He said I owed him a picture showing some skin. So being the smart ass that I am, I pulled my shirt a little off my shoulder and took a picture. He got all pissed off at me and said it was only fair. Really?? I didn't ask for the picture of your junk?

 

So needless to say things fizzled out after that. But he did teach me a lesson...this ISN'T abnormal. This isn't the only dick picture I have received. This is something people do, they exchange pictures. Some do it very inappropriately and others do it while in a relationship. It's so easy to do with picture messaging and smart phones. I will be honest with you, I have sent a "sexy" pic or two or three. But there are certain rules. One being to only send them to someone you trust and have some sort of relationship with and the BIGGEST rule being to NEVER show your face. (I know, my parents would be so proud.)

I wasn't really sure if there were certain rules for men but there actually are some out there. Here you go guys: Rules to sending "dick pics" You are welcome!

XOXO